celebrity rants. ready, go.
50 cent.
woah, fifty. fiddy. my man. skeletor. you're freaking me out. your mug shot looked better than this. i mean, tyra banks would say that your bone structure is exquisite, but then she'd go back to talking about her cellulite and her mama, so don't get too excited. manorexia doesn't look that good on you, g unit. i was born how much you weigh right now.
vienna girardi.
the time has come. jake and vienna have broken up. the cross eyed princess is out of the picture. the world is right again. also, the success rate of bachelor/ette couples staying together is still .9%. congrats trista and ryan and jason and molly. vienna's now lost everything. she lost her extensions to ali pedofile-towsky, and now her beyond obnoxious fiance. everybody can go back to listening to "on the wings of love" without vomiting in their mouth.
idina menzel.
rainbows, butterflies, and lollipops fly out of her mouth when she sings. or speaks. or breathes with her mouth open. literally. i'm obsessed with this woman. and she's married to taye diggs. insert jealousy here.
kristen stewart.
hey k-stew. you aren't so great at acting, but you probably know this. you always look like you are as uncomfortable as a hairless chihuahua thats trying to go to the bathroom in a snowstorm. yo quiero edward.
lance bass.
i just lol-ed all over my bib. i'm not saying i peed my pants, but i'm not not saying i peed my pants just by looking at this picture. and that is all that needs to be sad.
harold pan.
because he should be famous in your book, and it doesn't get old.
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