AH.

i am so sorry about it. it's been test week. life's been crazy out the ying yang. please excuse. a good post will come. i hope you are still alive. school makes time to sass difficult. who needs an education anyway?

ps - my chemistry test just raped me, thanks for asking.

babies.

i just want to take a moment to say that sorry i have been so boring. it is solely due to the fact that i have the newfound power to not fully embarrass myself in public. like, what? where did this come from? i mean, i'm not complaining, but le blog is le sacrificing. you win some, you lose some i guess.

1) where have yogurt covered pretzels been all my life? i feel like i'm having similar effects as to when you give cocaine to a baby. which i don't know the outcome. i'm a little scared for my life.

2) i've been sober of diet dr. pepper for exactly 9 months. i could have had a 23 flavor baby by now. sorry for the baby references.

3) i would give my left arm and my first born child for a diet dr. pepper right now.

4) who is lele and what did i do to have to buy her some new hair?

people these days.

le vom.

now that i am healed from the vom-bonic plague, i can post without believing toxic germs will camp out on my keyboard. also, now that i'm not sleeping 87% of my day.

to start off right, totally look alikes.

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i never knew whether to be completely blown away or completely uneasy when i saw animal shaped fried foods as a child. art or factory made "shrimp"?

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..that wasn't ellen page in legally blonde? so much for me winning scene it. i had my hopes high.

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if you're going to be on a channel with furry creepy noise making creatures, you might as well look like one too, right?

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down right wrong and hilarious. and pouty lip face overload. my nausea is coming back.

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as seen on tv AND totally look alike? it's like my blog in a picture. wall-e is a bonus.

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again with the food looking like mythical creatures.

sans rants.

since i am sass and rants all the time, i figured maybe i should take a break and include what i am actually up to lately. i am back at school at texas a&m, and buuuusy. hence the inconsistency of posting. which i am truly sorry about. no sass intended. ugh, okay this is boring. my life is boring sass and rant is back. we'll talk about other observations on campus. and other things that are in my brain that i can't flesh out into full blog posts.

1) what is up with just slapping a huge bow on the side of your head and calling it precious? like, no. my two and a half year old niece wears them and she dances that fine line of it being precious and outgrowing it. it's lame. you look dumb. it makes your head look tilted and heavy on one side.

2) don't wear rain boots when it's not raining. or when it's not even in the forecast. or when it's AUGUST in texas.

3) my kine 213 professor makes me want to wet my pants every class. he has about 7 hairs on his head and i'm tempted to pull one out for my voodoo doll. don't take that seriously. the second half of that, at least. i think i love him a little.

4) as seen on tv came up at dinner tonight. i was the most informed and could explain the most about each product that was brought up. touche, blog, touche.

5) what the FLOP is in meatloaf anyways? rhetorical. i just want you to sit on that for a while.

whaaaaat astv is BACK.

astv is back like victor garber. seriously, he is in 28% of the movies i watch ranging from the years of 1991 - 2010. he has aged none. titanic. legally blonde. if it's wrong to say he is attractive, i don't want to be right. i feel like that is borderline illegal in all fifty states. woooomp.

and WHAT?! imdb said he was in ONE episode of glee! this man is the new hitler. minus the violence and communism stuff. and the mustache. okay, now he's not like hitler at all. ugh. whatever.

why am i even talking about him again? anyways, AS SEEN ON TV! whatever, you know you have missed it.

wait, oh my gosh i need this. refer to the post regarding how someone opened and drank my coffee creamer. why didn't i think to buy this hamster cage with a security lock to hide my food in? ugh, billy mays' evil twin with an australian accent, you never let me down. put a real life bear in my kitchen and my food being taken would not be my main concern. who does this man think he is? suck on that, bearsicle.

why is removing lint just such a pain? sorry, i never realized it was. ps was the person in the brown blazer a girl or boy? i really question these commercials.

just like i'm not going to put a rotating blade to my hair like the flow-bee, i'm not going to put a rotating brush by my eye. you can roll it with your own finger. this isn't a problem. also, who smiles while putting on mascara? i know i look like a surprised baby troll doll when i apply mascara. which is about once a month.

or, just learn from this lady.

i'm all for ending on this high of a note.

fail friday.

let's get physical. i should find this man for my flexibility test in my kinesiology class.

fin. happy weekend.

creamer. no thank you.

i am almost 9 months sober of diet dr. pepper. if you know me, this is a huge deal. i would chain drink diet dr. pepper out the ying yang. since then, i switched to coffee to maintain my caffeine levels. although, i drink more fat free vanilla coffee mate creamer with a splash of coffee in it. if that's wrong, i don't want to be right.

so, this post will sound so divalicious that you might vomit. i bought a liter size (no joke.) thing of creamer last night and put it in the pi phi house's community fridge with my name on it, blah blah. pi phi's, you know where this is going. and no, i don't want to hear "welcome to living in the pi phi house." it was expected. anyways, i digress. i come downstairs, get my creamer and unscrew the lid to undo the far too difficult plastic pull-top lid. what happens? the lid is already gone. and so is about a quarter of my coffee creamer. i don't feel like doing mental gymnastics of how much creamer that is via metric system or whatever, but it's a lot. and i'm leaving it at that. everyone knows i'm not the tiniest girl on the planet. they should know i can punch their left molar out if i wanted to. they should know not to mess with my creamer. not just take some, but have the audacity to OPEN it (ps - it takes me about 5 minutes to get those, so thanks, kind of. not really.) and take some. it's like, here let me give them nine thousand hints that i took a little (and by a little i mean a good quart) of creamer. fat free creamer that i used my allowance for. the allowance that leaves me living on 30 cents for about 4 days out of the month. wamp wamp. so, dear pi phi that chose the most obvious creamer to take, you have guts. you had pi phi love and mine. kind of.

but then again, it is reassuring to know somebody else drinks as much, if not more, creamer in my coffee as i do. touche.

and i miss harold pan. ugh. kick me while i'm down.