everyone has their favorite celebrities and the ones they love to hate and talk terrible about as if they know them. luckily, i love to hate and hate to love all of the same ones. convenient.
tyra banks.
okay. i've been obsessed with my homegirl tyra banks since freshman year of high school. my chemistry teacher teased me incessantly. my friend callie and i celebrate her birthday annually. (december 4th. represent.) despite that, she drives me crazy. for better and for worse.
why i like her: she has as many dimples in her booty as i do, she told public television to kiss her fat ass (i just might.), she has a fivehead, and she has great teeth.
why i can't stand her: all she talks about is her cellulite, her momma, and her modeling career. also, this is not how you teach modeling. (because i know a lot. i'm a model. i can hear you laughing.)
tyra: "see, this is what you're doing. (looks at the camera straight ahead) and this is what i need you to do. (squints a little, tilts her head to the side, and leans to the camera.) this is called smiling with your eyes."
okay tyra, what? i know you're just passing gas underneath the judging table. that's why miss j always makes that obnoxious scream/woo. you're not fooling anyone.
jillian michaels.
i. am. obsessed. with. jillian. michaels.
why i like her: um, excuse me. she's the best fitness trainer on the planet. (minus my sister. because she is reading this right now.) i would spend all of my graduation money for her to yell in my face for an hour. but only if she gave me a hug afterward. i may or may not do her work videos out just to hang out with my girl jill. she's a bad-a, who also has really good hair. she also has a great body. but whatever. i'm perfect with my imperfections. i strive for a muffin top.
why i can't stand her: she hasn't come to meet me yet.
ali fedofjsdalktjklsdtoiwsky.
why i like her: i don't. not one bit.
why i can't stand her: her laugh makes me want to punt a puppy, she "woo's" too often, she stole vienna's hair extensions, she likes guys who wear livestrong bracelets, and she still has the weatherman around. grow a brain, ali. and your own hair. he is an embarrassment to the city of houston. is this season over yet?
bradley cooper.
why i like him: because it's common sense.
why i can't stand him: he's prettier than i am or any 5 girls combined.
this is just part one. more is in store. keep your pants on.
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