as stated before, i'm really awkward. it's unavoidable. and now, it is story time. minus the tucking you in part. because that is borderline illegal in all 50 states.
picture yourself at summer school at houston community college. (summer '10, woo.) it's 9 am, you're on your first break of the day, and you have to pee like nobodys business. i streamline (pun totally intended.) to the bathroom. afterwards, i'm washing my hands, like any normal human being. here, the predicament enters. the soap dispenser is shared with 2 sinks and can be swiveled back and forth depending on where you are. cool. homegirl has to choose the sink next to me (because there are 5 others. i'm already uncomfortable.) and she has "MI$$ BOSS" tattooed across her collar bone and chains going all down her forearms. if i could have gotten i picture, i would have. i wish i was joking. we're in the predicament of who is going to get the soap first. so naturally, being so giving, i say "oh, you go first. you're hands are dirtier than mine." strike 1. i was trying to do the whole "you go first" thing, except it only works in certain situations. like, if you're waiting for a bathroom stall, it would be like "you have to go more than i do, go first." or if you're in line for food and there's only one enchilada left (sucks.) and there is an 89 year old woman behind you and you let her have it because you're not as hungry and you can wait until the next tray. along those lines. for the record, this does not carry over to the sink. the second "your hands are dirtier than mine" came out i was like, oh abby. why? you just posted about this a few days ago. (subtract 15 cool points for me thinking about my blog entries in real life situations. strike 2.) so what did i do? kept going. strike 3. out. i kept digging that hole deeper, thinking somehow i would be able to get out of it. the story continues.
socially inept: "oh. gosh. i didn't mean your hands were dirtier in a bad way or anything. i mean, just because you have tattoos doesn't mean your hands are dirty. i just mean you go first. it's not like the ink goes from your bloodstream to dirty your hands or any weird science thing. and i'm a science major. i'm actually taking a break from physics right now. i think tattoos are cool. i'm too scared to get one though. my mom would kill me. that's cool of you. you're cool. can i have the soap now? (and by that i mean, can i go play in traffic?)"
tat-tastic had no response. i wonder why.
she set me up. she read my blog, knew how awkward i was, and chose the sink next to me to share the dispenser to test me. and then i failed. with flying colors.
BAHAHAHA
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