guess who's back? back again?

sass is back. tell a friend.

what better way to redeem a week of absence than some as seen on tv's? that's what i thought.

i have no idea how to cook. i catch paper towels on fire while trying to scramble eggs. you try putting those two together. but no matter how bad i am, i never do what this infomercial says is "the issue". i'm rock bottom at cooking and cracking eggs really doesn't make my day too difficult. "and we've ALL done this!" no. we haven't. if you can't crack an egg, you have some priorities to sort out.

it's a pillow. it's a pet. it's a pet with a purpose. tell me what they purpose it serves? it's just a pillow. people don't own ladybugs and unicorns as pets. let's go.

25 times bigger. look! it's a colossal heart attack in a pan. so colossal it shakes the screen when it hits the table. grandma, you're a drama queen.

rumor has it this is the same as concealer.

okay, i didn't like bath time when i was younger either. but having a sponge in the shape of spongebob wouldn't necessarily change that opinion. i don't want a cartoon character rubbing on my body, even at age 7. also, sponges are for dishes and kitchen use. put your kid in the bath. they'll be fine.

gretta has a similar thing for nap time. so snug in a bug in a rug. oh wait, when i was your age this was called a sleeping bag. putting sheets on a bed is so hard. i had to bring in reinforcements. clearly, if i had a dreamie it wouldn't have been such an issue. you live and learn, i guess.

is it just me or are THOSE NOT THE SAME PEOPLE in the before and after picture? it's like a present day flowbee. id rather put a weed eater on my head.

the only thing that made this worth watching was witnessing the lady try and plunge the sink.

but call within the next ten minutes, and you'll lose your dignity for the low price of 9.99.