creamer. no thank you.

i am almost 9 months sober of diet dr. pepper. if you know me, this is a huge deal. i would chain drink diet dr. pepper out the ying yang. since then, i switched to coffee to maintain my caffeine levels. although, i drink more fat free vanilla coffee mate creamer with a splash of coffee in it. if that's wrong, i don't want to be right.

so, this post will sound so divalicious that you might vomit. i bought a liter size (no joke.) thing of creamer last night and put it in the pi phi house's community fridge with my name on it, blah blah. pi phi's, you know where this is going. and no, i don't want to hear "welcome to living in the pi phi house." it was expected. anyways, i digress. i come downstairs, get my creamer and unscrew the lid to undo the far too difficult plastic pull-top lid. what happens? the lid is already gone. and so is about a quarter of my coffee creamer. i don't feel like doing mental gymnastics of how much creamer that is via metric system or whatever, but it's a lot. and i'm leaving it at that. everyone knows i'm not the tiniest girl on the planet. they should know i can punch their left molar out if i wanted to. they should know not to mess with my creamer. not just take some, but have the audacity to OPEN it (ps - it takes me about 5 minutes to get those, so thanks, kind of. not really.) and take some. it's like, here let me give them nine thousand hints that i took a little (and by a little i mean a good quart) of creamer. fat free creamer that i used my allowance for. the allowance that leaves me living on 30 cents for about 4 days out of the month. wamp wamp. so, dear pi phi that chose the most obvious creamer to take, you have guts. you had pi phi love and mine. kind of.

but then again, it is reassuring to know somebody else drinks as much, if not more, creamer in my coffee as i do. touche.

and i miss harold pan. ugh. kick me while i'm down.