creamer. no thank you.

i am almost 9 months sober of diet dr. pepper. if you know me, this is a huge deal. i would chain drink diet dr. pepper out the ying yang. since then, i switched to coffee to maintain my caffeine levels. although, i drink more fat free vanilla coffee mate creamer with a splash of coffee in it. if that's wrong, i don't want to be right.

so, this post will sound so divalicious that you might vomit. i bought a liter size (no joke.) thing of creamer last night and put it in the pi phi house's community fridge with my name on it, blah blah. pi phi's, you know where this is going. and no, i don't want to hear "welcome to living in the pi phi house." it was expected. anyways, i digress. i come downstairs, get my creamer and unscrew the lid to undo the far too difficult plastic pull-top lid. what happens? the lid is already gone. and so is about a quarter of my coffee creamer. i don't feel like doing mental gymnastics of how much creamer that is via metric system or whatever, but it's a lot. and i'm leaving it at that. everyone knows i'm not the tiniest girl on the planet. they should know i can punch their left molar out if i wanted to. they should know not to mess with my creamer. not just take some, but have the audacity to OPEN it (ps - it takes me about 5 minutes to get those, so thanks, kind of. not really.) and take some. it's like, here let me give them nine thousand hints that i took a little (and by a little i mean a good quart) of creamer. fat free creamer that i used my allowance for. the allowance that leaves me living on 30 cents for about 4 days out of the month. wamp wamp. so, dear pi phi that chose the most obvious creamer to take, you have guts. you had pi phi love and mine. kind of.

but then again, it is reassuring to know somebody else drinks as much, if not more, creamer in my coffee as i do. touche.

and i miss harold pan. ugh. kick me while i'm down.

inspiration.

everyone needs inspiration on a tuesday, which is the worst day of the week. let's be real, your adrenaline from monday is gone and you are even more tired, yet there is still no friday in sight. a terrible abyss.

do everything in dependence on Him. the desire to act independently springs from the root of pride. self-sufficiency is subtle, insinuating its way into your thoughts and actions without your realizing it. apart from Him, you can do nothing: that is, nothing of eternal value. His deepest desire for you is that you learn to depend on Him in every situation. He moves heaven and earth to accomplish this purpose, but you must collaborate with Him in this training. teaching you would be simple if He negated your free will or overwhelmed you with His presence. however, He loves you too much to withdraw the godlike privilege He has bestowed on you as His image-bearer. use your freedom wisely, by relying on Him constantly. thus you enjoy His presence and His peace.

john 15:5, ephesians 6:10, gensis 1:26-27

sorry. about. it. part 8.

recruitment is over. i can leave these four walls and be surrounded by testosterone and not 50 girls again. boom, roasted. sorry about causing withdrawals and not giving entertainment while at work/at class/laying in bed. my heart is truly breaking for you. almost. but then i remember about how i was smiling for 4 days straight. in heels. size 12 heels.

we will come back on a high note.

1) someone from MOSCOW viewed my blog. okay, sweet. i'm going international. potential predator? whatever, it's moscow. if that's wrong, i don't want to be right. they have computers there?

2) i have successfully managed to not embarrass myself these past two weeks. sorry to not come back with embarrassing stories.

3) i'm too tall for the beds and showers here at the sorority house. ugh, i hate being a yeti sasquatch troll thing. i initially squatted in the shower to wash my hair, then had sore quads for three days. i then resorted to a sort of lunge, but that doesn't work out ideally either. i'm hoping to be able to do a backbend by the end of this year.

4) i'm back. did i mention that? okay.

womp.

sorry. i have like, zero time right now. but HEY thanks for being a champ and not punching me in the mouth in my sleep for it. buuuuut i have a little time for a mediocre things to tide you over for the next week.

bad lyrics time. HOOODY HOOOOOO.

preface: had a huge dance party last night. 90's style. so, we are doing terrible 90's music. brace yourself. so stallion.

everybody - backstreet boys

am i original? yeah. am i the only one? yeah. am i sexual? yeah.

are you making me want to vomit? yeah. do i wish i was with harold pan right now? yeah.

in english, you learn about rhetorical questions and repetition for effect. if you didn't, womp. backstreet boys missed both of those attempts. still love you though, nick carter.

i'm too sexy - right said fred

i'm too sexy for my shirt, love, body, etc.

whoever likes this song has some internal issues they need to work out. right said fred creepily whispers all of the things he is too sexy for, which makes me borderline uncomfortable.

ketchup song - las ketchup

i'm banging my head on a wall right now. i forgot how terrible this song was. english or spanish. ketchup or mustard. potato or po-tat-oe.

heaven - los lonely boys

there aren't really too terrible of lyrics in this song, but it is the reasons babies cry at night.

sorry about it, part two.

sorority stuff. posting restarts in two weeks. SORRY ABOUT IT.

friday.

ugh, i hate how funny i think this is. i'm terrible.

ash sheen on teevee.

astv. a-a-a-a-a (that is for you, ags.)

how dramatic are these divas? seriously. these "problems" are really not that much of an inconvenience. an example of an inconvenience is me not being able to see harold pan daily.

my dog may be a demonseed, but i know for a fact that not every dog is going to sit there like that and have a chainsaw come at it's fingers.

bonus round: if you can tell me what accent the lady had at 1:10, you win my love.

i rest my case. ps, my kind of woman. i'd saw my dog's nose off too. no quiero pedipaws.

waahahahaha. i have a feeling that an armband that holds knifes, screwdrivers, and other murder weapons is borderline illegal in all 50 states. but, billy mays, i miss you and you were so good to me.

i know i have already shared this gem before, but i just added it for emphasis because my roommate has this and it WILL be in our room next year, if you wish to use it.

"you cut, rip, and tear." what is the first thing that comes to mind? paper? a muscle? abby's dignity? if you answered "brownies," you just lost a wad of respect in my book. it's the little things. add a snowman cookie cutter on top and we are no longer friends.

goulet.